Thriving In The Midst of Fear and Uncertainty

Today, as our nation faces some of its most trying times, many individuals have found themselves questioning the future. From the multi-trillion dollar loss in retirement funding to the massive number of foreclosures the financial woes of Wall Street have echoed in our ears Perhaps you have been one of the many who have said, "What am I going to do? What if I lose my savings? What if we don't have enough retirement money? What if it all gets worse?"

Thriving In The Midst of Fear and Uncertainty

As I hear these questions in the hearts of so many leaders in our country, I can see the evidence of FEAR creeping in to steal the power of what makes this country so great.

America is the greatest country to live in and offers the greatest amount of freedom, opportunity, and potential. Yet, like a thief sneaking in a back door, fear seems to have made residence in the hearts of so many individuals in this time financial uncertainty in our nation. Despite the chaos at Wall Street, this country is still a place of amazing opportunity. For those who panic, they will be on the losing end of this season of transition for our country. For those who look into the muck and mire and see opportunity, they will be able to find the diamonds in the rough.

For example: While some folks are complaining that this is a "terrible time to sell a home", others are seizing the moment by saying, "this is a GREAT time to buy!" Every challenge comes with GREAT opportunity. So how do you weather this recent financial storm and make sure that you don't get caught on the short end of the stick? How do you position yourself to partake of this land of opportunity like so many other entrepreneurs will this season?

KEY #1: UP YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Look For The Good In Everything. Two young twin boys were being examined by researchers as a result of their very distinctive personalities. One boy was an eternal optimist, always happy and full of cheer. The other boy was an unfortunate pessimist, who couldn't seem to find a moment's peace or happiness despite his fortunate surroundings.

Researchers placed the pessimistic boy in a room full of every toy a boy his age could hope for. Meanwhile, they placed the optimistic boy in a room full of horse manure. After a short five minutes, the pessimistic boy began to cry with great emotional outbursts. Researchers opened the door and said, "Son, what is the matter? You have every toy in here a boy could want."

The pessimist replied, "There's so many toys, I don't know which to play with." In the other room they heard squealing and laughter, they peered in the room of horse manure to see the boy jumping up and down in the manure, throwing it in the air and laughing with glee. They quickly opened the door and said, "Boy, what on earth are you so happy about?"

The boy replied with great excitement, "With all of this manure, there's gotta be a pony in her somewhere!!!!"

This is a great story to show us the power of perspective. How do you view the "manure" around you? If you grumble in pessimism, you WILL miss the opportunities. Instead, look for the good in every day. Keep your eyes and your heart open to new opportunities.

KEY #2: ELIMINATE F.E.A.R.

What is fear? It is False Expectations Appearing Real in our lives. It is presuming the worst, expecting grave misfortune. Fear is an anticipation that something bad is going to happen. Worry is the partner of fear. It is the manifested bloom that emerges when fear takes root in our lives. As worry grows, anxiety, stress and a host of other symptoms bloom and radically change our perspective, our health, and our ability to think clearly.

Even when the reality of the world around you is in "crisis mode", don't let fear rule your heart. A scripture I hold dear in times of struggle is one in which God stated, "Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41)

Basically put, God knows of your current situation and He also knows how to rescue you. Trust him in the details. Don't try to figure everything out in your head. Do not worry. Don't let stress come in and plague your heart. Did you know that heart disease is the number one killer of women in America? Did you know that STRESS is a major precursor to that disease?

By eliminating fear, you will not only see more clearly, operate more efficiently, be more open to creativity, and have a better outlook, but you will also be adding years to your life and peace to your soul.

KEY #3: GIVE THANKS

Another practice my husband and I make in times of decision is to stop in our tracks, and put on an attitude of gratitude. It is always amazing to me that no matter what the negative emotion may be that tries to steal our joy, when we allow gratitude to fill our hearts, the pain of the moment fades away.

It may be as simple as saying, "Thank you God for my children. Thank you for my home. Thank you that I have a bed to sleep in tonight. Thank you for shoes on my feet. Thank you that I have a job. Thank you that I have my health. Thank you that I can comb my own hair. Thank you that I can freely go to the bathroom by myself....."

Each and every one of us has something to be grateful for today. Even if your world seems to be falling apart, there is still much to appreciate. Stop right now. Close your eyes. Instead of focusing on the chaos and turmoil around you, allow your mind to list at least 10 things you have to be thankful for right now.

As you utilize these three keys, send us your results and let your life become a catalyst of encouragement, hope, and change for someone else!

Believing the best for you,

Staci Wallace,
EMwomen Founder

Winning At Work and Life!

The challenge of work-life balance is without question one of the greatest challenges facing women today. After 14 years of working with thousands of women, I am continually amazed at how difficult the task of life balance continues to remain for so many.

Here are 3 simple disciplines every woman can adhere to in becoming more balanced and better adjusted to this new generation of women dominating the work-place.

Discipline 1: Just say "No"! - The ability to say no to the "urgent" items that come up daily will give you freedom to say "yes" to the the things that matter most in life.

Discipline 2: Know When To Say "Yes"! - Reserve your valuable "yeses" for the core values of life. By making your "yeses" line up with your core values, you will be living life on your terms, verses the terms of everyone else.

Discipline 3: Never let "Good" become robber of "Best". Never let good become a replacement for what we know to be the best for our lives and the lives of those around us.

These three disciplines may seem like an over-simplification to a major issue, however, the amazing truth is that our current day-to-day decisions determine our net result. So many women blame their spouses, jobs, relatives, and even finances for a life out of balance, lacking peace and often joy.

As I travel, I continue to see more and more women stepping up to lead great companies and yet they are doing so at the sacrifice of their families, marriages and even inner peace. As work-life challenges continue to mount, too many women keep sweeping their personal issues under the rug, thinking they will somehow disappear.

Lisa, a corporate executive for a multi-million dollar company, said, "I just don't know how to fix my life. I have climbed the corporate ladder and reached my dream of being number one at what I do. However, I have lost my family in the process. My kids have grown up under someone else's care. I have missed so much of their lives it hurts inside. My husband and I live in the same home and yet are emotionally oceans apart. My spiritual life is basically non-existent other than a yoga class now and then. Basically, I have power at work and yet I feel powerless in life and I don't know how to regain control again."

Lisa's story is familiar. Unfortunately, Lisa's final statement is probably what got her in the situation in the first place. Lisa is a control freak and finds her personal significance in feeling important, in control, and in charge. By giving her undivided attention to work, she was able to fill an inner need for recognition and affirmation, however she sacrificed leadership and influence at home. Once the price was high enough, due to the loss of her family, Lisa finally realized that things had to change.

Let's look at 3 Key Disciplines To Winning At Work And Life!

Discipline 1: Just Say "No"!
So many times, we let our lives swing out of control by adding too much to our plate that doesn't even rank in our list of top priorities. If that is you, your life may look more like a shot gun firing in all directions. To become rifle focussed, means that you have mastered the art of elimination. By constantly accepting to do items that pop up as "urgent" often means you are giving up the things in life that rank as most "important".

Often, at work, we are inundated with seemingly "urgent" to do items that steal our ability to remain balanced, focussed and on track for a peace-filled life. By constantly saying "yes" to the urgent, we are often saying "no" to our greatest joys in life. Urgent meetings, urgent budgets, urgent opportunities are just a few of the "urgent" monsters that creep in to kill, steal and destroy your family, your peace, and your joy.

A simple test to give each item that pops up to steal your focus is this:

Ask yourself:

• Is this more important that what I currently had scheduled?
  
• Will this bring me closer or further from a life of peace, joy and happiness?
  
• Will the world or my company fall apart if I say "No"?
  

And even if you can positively answer those questions, ask yourself, "At the end of the day will I feel good about this decision as it ranks in priority of my family and core values?"

Discipline 2: Know When To Say, "Yes"!
If you have completed your "Good To Great" Goals course, then you should have already listed out your core values. By making your "yeses" line up with your core values, you will be living life on your terms, verses the terms of everyone else. Core values are the things in life you consider non-negotiables. These may include your faith, your marriage, your health, your family, your relationship. As you allow your core values to become a filter for all of your choices, you will see that much of what you do is negotiable, removable, and actually stealing time from the things that matter most. Give your "yes" power by learning to say "no" more often.

Discipline 3: Never let good become robber of what is best.
In his book, Good To Great, Jim Collins first sentence reads, "Good is the enemy of best". Often in life, we settle for mediocrity, status quo, and even "normal" by allowing our time to be allotted to things that fall outside of our core values. But to be a Great leader, we must never let good become a replacement for what we know to be the best for our lives and the lives of those around us.

Recently, I shared this principle with my children during our Good To Great devotions we do each morning. I explained how the Good To Great concept even applies to cleaning their room. I asked them both to clean their room. In five minutes they came down saying they were done. As I went up to inspect their rooms I asked, "Is your room good? Or is it GREAT?"

After further investigation under their beds and behind their dressers, we all agreed that their rooms could use a bit more greatness. I explained that "good" means that things look in order on the surface, but with further investigation, we discover that "under the rug" lies more disorganization. GREAT, however, is when we allow things to be excellent inside and out.

What a simple truth to all of life. Look at your life today and determine if you are using your time wisely. Are you living life on your terms, giving your greatest attention to the things that matter most? Are you living a life of greatness, or have you settled for allowing "good" to become the robber of "GREAT"?

By applying these three principles to every area of life, especially our 7 Pillars Of Balanced Success (Finances, Family, Health & Fitness, Career, Emotions, Spirituality, and Community Service), we can regain the peace and fulfillment that comes when we WIN at work and LIFE!

Gone Fishing

Have you ever noticed how children mirror their parents? This was quite apparent to me when I took my kids who were 4 and 5 year-olds to go fishing at the lake. I thought it would be a precious time of bonding as Daddy was at work and they had never been fishing before.

Now understand, I am a pretty adventurous gal. I have deep sea fished, hunted wild boar, climbed mountains, am a black-belt in Karate and have been known to rough it up with the guys on the basketball court. I guess I thought I was a pretty tough cookie.

What was I thinking? Despite my love for adventure, I have zero desire to touch a fish, let alone handle worms and other forms of live bait. There I was as the "mom of the year" thinking I had it all planned out while I packed the poles, the worms, the tackle, and the sunflower seeds for spitting. What I forgot, however, is that someone would have to bait the hook, meaning touch the worms. And if, in some odd fashion, we did catch a fish, someone would have to take it off the hook.

So there we were my two little protégées and me on the side of the lake with our fishing poles and worms. I tried to be brave, really I did. I am a woman of power and authority right? I reached into the worm bucket and felt the slimy, slithery little rascals between my perfectly manicured fingers. As I pulled the worm out it I was taken back as it was about 7 inches long! Then it squirmed frantically. I threw it to the ground with a loud scream and panic on my face. Payton and Alexia just looked at me with big eyes and said, "Did it bite you, Mommy?"

Not wanting to scare them from future worm experiences I just said, "No, honey, it just jumped out of Mommy's fingers. We will find a better one."

I reached in again and pulled out another 7 inch worm. "What in the world are they feeding these suckers? Steroids or what? Why are they so big?" I thought to myself. The hook was less than an inch so it became apparently obvious that I would have to cut the worm into sections.

I looked in the tackle box but there was nothing to cut that little varmint with. Still looking at me as their hero, my two precious kids just said, "Cut it with your fingernails, Mommy!"

I mustered up great courage and squeezed the slimy worm until it broke in two and seeped slimy juice all over my hand. "Ok," I thought, the hard part is over. I put it on the hook and we cast our lines into the water. And we waited...and waited...and waited.

About 10 minutes later, I had to get creative. So I told stories about patience, faith, being fearless, never giving up, Jonah and the whale and I even think I threw in the story about Noah’s ark, just for fun. The aim was anything that passed time as we waited for a nibble.

Finally, Alexia's bobber plunged beneath the surface. She screamed. I screamed. It was like a cut from the movie, ET. I told her to reel it in slowly. As the fish surfaced, I was thrilled to see she had caught a four inch little perch.

"I can handle this," I thought, as I gathered my courage to remove the hook from its mouth. Payton and Alexia were so proud of that fish. Little did they know what mental anguish their "I can do anything" mother was going through, thinking about touching the fish with her hands.
Looking at me with eyes wide open, they said, "Mommy, take it off the hook so we can put it back with its family."

I reached out for the fish to remove the hook. It seemed the closer I got to putting my finger in its mouth, the bigger it looked. Finally, with great hesitation, I grabbed the fish, stuck my finger in its lips, when all of a sudden it wiggled sending me into panic. I screamed...then the kids screamed. I dropped the pole and the fish. And the kids just took off running.

"Did it bite, Mommy, did it bite?," they yelled from about 20 feet away. "No," I said. "It must have swallowed that jumpy worm because it just jumped out of my hands."Realizing the need to provide a positive experience for my kids, I picked up the pole and said to myself, "I can do this!" I grabbed the fish, took out the hook and carefully placed it in the water.

From that moment on I prayed for no more fish until Daddy came.

Have you ever noticed how your reactions are mirrored in the life of your children? I thought about it after our fishing trip and realized that whether it is fear, panic, anger, jealousy or rage, children watch their parents to determine their own reactions to life. When I was courageous, they acted courageous. When I screamed, they screamed. And when I panicked, they panicked and even took off running.

Remember: What you do in moderation, your children will do in excess. So be careful little mouth what you say. Be careful little mind what you think. Be careful little heart what you keep. For a child is always watching thee.

Without Words

St. Francis of Assisi once said, "Preach the Gospel every day, and if necessary use words."

For the past week, I have been in the recording studio morning till late in the evening hammering out the vocals for my latest CD, due out Aug. 23, 2008. To protect my voice when I am recording, I take a "vocal leave of absence" during the days of recording. So for the past few days and for the next four more days, I am dedicated to mandatory silence.

I want to say a special "Thank You" for everyone understanding why I have not returned phone calls or been "over the top" in my vocal expressions of love this past week. When I am on vocal rest, it means no talking, no whispering, no coughing,....not a sound. For a woman, that can be torture. :(

Whenever I have to do this, however, I simply offer it up to God as a type of fast. It seems sometimes we are so busy making noise that we fail to embrace the silence. In fact, many of us have a hard time just sitting in silence. Instead, we turn on the radio, turn on the TV, call a friend, etc.

It is amazing how much you hear when you are not talking. Not only do you become more aware of the sounds around you, but you are more in tuned with the voices within you.

This week, my friends and family have had to communicate with me through actions and not words. They follow my actions, hand gestures, sign language, they look for non-verbal cues, and they watch my eyes. It is amazing how actions really do speak louder than words.

Last night on Donny Deutsch's "The Big Idea" a highly powerful body language specialist from the White House was talking about the power of our unspoken words. In fact over 93% of all communication is non-verbal. That means that people read your life by what they see far more than what they hear.

The question is: What message are you giving? Do you say one thing and live another? Do you act confident, yet give off insecurity and fear? Do you claim to be a spiritual being full of Faith in God, yet you crumble at the sight of a storm in your life?

Today, I encourage you to let your life speak volumes. Let your actions speak louder than words. Read this little story from my book, "Mission Possible" and let it speak to your life:

Rosa was the mother of eight beautiful children. Needless to say, her life was hectic. But one day seemed more challenging than usual as her youngest boy kept repeatedly stepping on her heels. Rosa said, “As I was trying to do my chores, he was in my way all day. Every time I turned around I would bump into him. So I gently suggested that he go outside and play. But he just smiled at me and said, ‘That’s OK, Mommy, I would much rather be with you.’ And he just continued to hum a little song and walk behind me. As the day wore on, my patience wore down. I finally insisted that he go outside with the other kids. When he said he didn’t want to, I asked him why. He looked at me so innocently and said, ‘Well, Mommy, in Sunday school, my teacher told me to walk in Jesus’ footsteps. But since I can’t see Jesus, I decided to walk in yours.’ “

Leadership is influence. Whether you are aware of it or not, you are greatly influencing others with you actions everyday. Is your leadership worth following?

No Longer Naked

Have you ever had one of those days that left an imprint on your soul as though God, Himself, was the author? One day, I was traveling back from an event where I was appearing before 20,000 people hungry for success. After my performance, I was rushed straight from the stage to a limo and directly to the airport to catch the last flight out. Fortunately I only had a carry-on so the check in process would be easy.

I barely made my flight. As I sat in my seat I thought, boy would it have been nice to change out of these stage clothes and into my comfortable sweat suit in my bag. My plan was to get to Chicago where I would have an hour layover and change in the bathroom. When I landed in Chicago I went directly to my connecting gate to check in. That is when it happened:

Out of nowhere, I heard screaming. I turned and saw a naked woman (and I mean she was TOTALLY naked) running down the terminal screaming, "Oh God, help me! Oh God, help me!" People were moving out of the way and acting like she was strapped in a bomb. Their faces of horror and shame were obvious. She just kept running down the terminal getting closer and closer till all of a sudden she dropped on her knees ten feet in front of me. She threw her hands in the air as if to surrender and cried out, "Oh God, help me!"

Without a moment's hesitation, I grabbed her in my arms and covered her body with mine. At that very second, a miraculous thing happened. As I held her in my arms, everybody else in the airport terminal seemed to disappear. It was as though we were alone. I whispered in her ear, "It's ok. God loves you and has allowed me to be her so I can help you."

What? What was I saying? I suddenly realized the reality of the situation. I had just pounced on a naked woman in an airport with hundreds of onlookers. And now I am holding her in my arms. If the cops showed up, I would surely be in trouble. Dressed in a rhinestone St. John suit and four inch heals, I probably looked a bit crazy myself.

I continued to hold her in my arms as we walked to the bathroom. A young boy along the way threw me his shirt to put over her body. All other onlookers just gawked and whispered.

Once in the bathroom, she began to weep in my arms like a baby. She cried, "I am a bad woman. I have sinned." As she continued to be for forgiveness, I began to share with her the magnitude of God's love. She assured me she was too big of a sinner to deserve access to God's mercy. I explained the depth of God's love and told her that it was not by accident that she fell at my feet instead of a security officer. She didn't know it but she had run naked into the arms of God (or at least one of His vessels here on earth). Not that I was God, but that He had used my voice, my arms and my body to cover her and give her a message of love, hope and forgiveness that day.

As you can imagine, I was thinking to myself, "So exactly what happened to her clothes? " Last I checked, those security guards don't let you into an airport naked.

She explained that she was grieving the loss of multiple deaths in her family within a two week period and she was on the flight headed to her daughter's wedding. Doctor's had her on anti-depressants which she had mixed with alcohol and other drugs. Needless to say, her drug reaction, partnered with a nervous breakdown sent her over the edge.

Shame filled her mind as she suddenly realized what she had just done. She had stripped off her clothes, stuffed them down a toilet, threw her shoes in a trash can and dumped her purse in another toilet. She then proceeded to run naked down the airport in front of her husband and children, not to mention thousands of onlookers.

Bad day? You betcha! The interesting thing to me was that, during the process of her trauma, not one person stopped to help her. Not one of the more than 10 ladies in the bathroom that watched her strip said a word. They didn't reach out to help, they didn't even call the police. They just gawked in judgment and fear.

That day, I learned a lot about myself, about God's forgiveness and about human nature.

1. About myself: Personally, I realized that God allowed her to drop at my feet because He knew I would be willing and unafraid to reach out to her and give her help, hope and healing. By counseling her and setting her up with the proper professional help in her city, that woman went on to experience restoration, mental healing and spiritual guidance. It was a joy to know that I could be used by God to be His hands, voice and arms that day. You see, God is not looking for perfect vessels. He's just looking for willing vessels who will allow Him to use their life to reach out to others.

2. About God's Forgiveness: I learned that God is such a loving God that He will do anything to get our attention and have us fall on our knees for forgiveness. God watched as that woman took those drugs and drank the alcohol. He knew of her pain and sympathized with her sorrow. He also devised a plan for her salvation and healing. He loved her so much that although it took complete breakdown, He got her attention. He walked her right into a plan for her complete restoration, peace and healing.

3. About Human Nature: I learned that many people would rather gossip than help, murmur than aid and complain instead of comply with God's wishes to be a vessel of hope to those in need. As I considered how many people chose NOT to help, I humbly thanked God for giving me the courage that day to be different. As humans, it is easy to be apathetic in nature towards those in need. Lord, let us deny our flesh and be more like you!

When I finally made my way back to the gate for my departure, over 100 people stared at me till a man finally said, "Wow! That was incredible! Does that happen to you often? What possessed you to help her like that? I she crazy or what?"

Knowing it was, yet, another opportunity to share God's love, I simply said, " "Let's face it, we've all had bad days where we, too, felt like stripping naked, screaming out to God for help. The only difference is she had the guts to follow through with it!."

They laughed and we boarded our plane. I truly believe with all my heart that, for a few moments in time, God allowed me to feel His unconditional love pour from my heart and into that woman. Somehow, His heart had overtaken mine as though he took residence there for a short while in a tangible way.

Every day, I am honored to have the privilege of teaming up with God to make a difference in women's lives around the world. As a member of EMwomen, you, too join in that partnership. Together, as we continue to look for ways to inspire others, we are making a differece. We are clothing the naked, feeding the poor and inspiring the women of this nation. Giving hope to a world that lives in desperation, we are the voice of a new generation!

Check out our new community for women!

Visit EMwomen Community

GRATITUDE = LATITUDE

I try to make it a point each day to give "thanks" for the many joys and blessings in my life. It seems the more I express gratitude, the better I feel, the more blessings come my way, and the more apt I am to be a source of hope to others.

So, let me share today's gratitude with you. This past week, my husband, children and I took off a few days to go to Silver Dollar City in Branson, MO. We were celebrating my son's birthday and my parents were meeting us there. We had such a wonderful time, and our hearts were thankful to have the time together. As we journeyed along our way, we were hit by one blessing after another. First, when we arrived, there were presents awaiting us in our condo. It seems my parents confused my son's birthday with CHRISTMAS. There were presents for everyone! And if that wasn't exciting enough, the last present was for my husband, which read:

"Congratulations. This certificate pays for your stay in Branson." Yippeeee! This was shaping up to be a super-duper trip. We were prepared to have fun, but to have fun for FREE is what I call a REAL good time!

On day two, we all went to Dinosaur Mountain to play miniature golf. The blessings just got better. My son and mother each got a hole in one on the only hole that awards you a FREE game. The blessings kept rolling.

Day three, we went to Silver Dollar City and had such a wonderful time. The blessing of the day was definitely the beautiful weather, laughs, relaxation, and my husband's "big find"......Succotash. He ate so much succotash that the workers came to know him as the "succotash man". He liked it so much that we decided to ask for the recipe so I could "de-fat" the ingredients and try to make it fit the qualifications for EMcafe Recipe (Under 10 grams of fat). Look for it as one of this month's EMcafe recipes. It is emmmmmmlicious!

Day four kept getting better. I received a phone call from the sister of a lady I had prayed for in ICU who had a brain anurism. The doctors didn't know if she would make it and the sadness of the family was evident. She was the mother of four young children. I was honored when they called me in to pray and sing to her. At that time, she was being kept alive by machines. But while singing to her, she opened her eyes the entire time I sang. The exciting news that came during our trip to Silver Dollar City was that, after one and a half months of being in ICU, she was up talking, and out of the woods of danger. They proceeded to tell me that she was feeling great and had asked to see me. They told us that she didn't remember much of anything during her coma, but she vividly remembers me singing to her and the peace she felt.

If that isn't enough for anyone to say "Thank You, God", it gets even better. That same day, we received the call from my husband's mother who has been battling Leukemia. She gave us the wonderful news that the leukemia had gone into remission.

I could go on with this gratitude list of just the past few days, but let me sum it all up to say this:
Gratitude is fertilizer for miracles to grow. The more gratitude you plant, the more blessings will grow.

What are you grateful for? Send me a comment and tell me why you are grateful. Let your gratitude become the latitude to your next level of increase!

Have a great week!