Silencing The Voice Of Depression

Recently one of our EMwomen Community members opened up to share her challenge with depression and voices that have recently lead her to thoughts of suicide. Knowing that depression is a major issue facing women across America and the world, I felt it important to open this as a discussion of us all.

Question: Is there anything I can do to stop this urge of suicide?

Answer: First let me introduce myself. I am Staci Wallace, the founder of EMwomen and I feel you at this very moment. Not because I can "imagine" your pain, but because I have lived it. There is nothing worse on earth than the voices of the soul (mind, will, and emotions) that echo through the heart of a woman saying, "you are worthless." "You are a failure." "Nobody cares if you are dead or alive." "Nothing you do matters anyway." "You are ugly." "Life is hopeless." "You'd be better off dead."

Those are just a few of the voices I was bombarded with in the most difficult season of my life. I had experienced abuse, divorce, rejection and the feelings of utter hopelessness. I remember being so suicidal and depressed that everything in my world seemed broken.

Yet, I was a Christian, who, deep down inside wanted to live. The struggle between life and death was so great that I, too, felt bipolar.

It wasn't until I realized that, although there were chemical reactions taking place within me that the medics could label bipolar, there was something even deeper within me that doctors couldn't see. For those who suffer from depression, the only way doctors know to "fix" you is to medicate you or try and talk you out of your state of anxiety.

Unfortunately, those approaches may help temporarily, but they don't treat the root issue......The heart.

Operating within you right now are two voices. It is the same two voices that echo within us all. One is the voice of the soul (your mind, will and emotions). That voice is completely influenced by your circumstances, your surroundings, your flesh, what you see, feel, experience on a daily basis. To be led by that voice means that you live life like being on a roller coaster. One day you're up, the next day you are down. And so you live with an unstable existence that seems to drive you crazy at times.

The other voice within us is the voice of our Spirit. The spirit voice is the voice most in tuned with God. Whether we are "Christians" or not, we are all "spiritual", meaning we have an innate part of our being that is "Spirit". Consider it the good little angel that sits on our shoulder trying to help us make good decisions.

Unfortunately, that voice often loses the fight against the soul voice and ends up watching us make poor decisions based on temporary circumstances or emotions.

Imagine this.....It's 10pm and you are watching TV. You’ve been trying to lose weight and you know that eating late at night is not the best thing for your "weightless plan". Still, you hear that "soul" voice say, "Cheeze Nips would sure be good right now!" "Doesn't a nice big Coke sound yummy!" Immediately the "spirit" voice declares in opposition, "Now that is probably not the best decision. I should go for a walk, drink a glass of water or have some turkey to tide me over."
And which voice usually wins out? You guessed it.... the Cheeze Nip Addict....the soul.

So how do we learn to silence those depressive, life destroying, dream destroying, and often suicidal voices of our emotions? Here is how I did it.

I realized that on my own, I couldn't win that battle. I also realized that I had made some foolish decisions that opened my heart up to some really crummy stuff that included sex, partying, lying and more. I needed a roto-rooter of the soul. I needed a cleansing of my mind, my will and my emotions. I needed a second chance at life with an entirely fresh start. I needed my past to stop haunting me and my future to illuminate the possibilities of life.

Here is what I did. I cried out to God to forgive me. I verbally asked for freedom from suicidal thoughts. I asked for freedom from the voices of opposition in my soul. I declared my freedom from a sinful lifestyle and told the voices of darkness within my soul that I was through listening to their banter.

I also asked God to heal my wounded spirit and place His Sprit within me. My spiritual self was not strong enough to win over darkness. I needed God's unlimited and ever so powerful Spirit to take me over.

In other words, I did an exchange with the only source of hope and destiny. I gave God my warn out, abused, ugly, stinky, hypocritical, analytical, prideful, depressed and negative soul. In return.....He gave me new life.

He gave me His Spirit through faith in Christ. I was raised a Christian, but never understood the value of the "great exchange" till that moment. I accepted a new Spirit within me and trusted that my future was in His hands because I was now a walking temple of His Spirit.

Things weren't perfect overnight, but in one night, the lights to my future became brighter than the darkness of my past.

Today, it is that very story of pain, depression and new life that fuels my passion for EMwomen. Rather than killing myself.....I chose to live....not for myself, but for others. My story no longer carries with it the pain and hurt of my past. Instead, the scars of my past have become stars of hope to light the way for people like you.

If I can make it....You can make it. One day, you will be the one righting this email to someone else giving them hope to never give up. Your best is yet to come and if you will simply make that "great exchange", you will begin to see the light.

Silence the voice of the enemy in your soul. Choose to acknowledge and submit to the voice of the Spirit that is shouting aloud saying, "Choose you this day, who will you serve?"

Leann.....choose life! I did and now my life is giving life to others. Let's do this together. I want to see you become a voice of dynamic hope and change for young women like yourself.

Please go to my page and listen to the song "Cinderella" over and over again. Meditate on its words. Listen to its message saying, "There is greatness in you....."

I believe in you and know that His Spirit is greater than anything you've ever faced. Once the voices are silenced within your soul.....Bipolar tendencies will become a thing of the past and your physical body and chemical challenges will subside.

Life.....Choose Life! I LOVE YOU!